Visitor?

Mmm.. Wonder if there's still visitor around here... well something cross my mind again. So I decided to post it here... Well whatever it is, it's going to be very lengthy and something that might have you think for a while, to not even waste ur energy on this your allow to just click the close button.

Basically this few months I have been gone without updating this blog, well stuff happen and well here I am. I don't really know what to type much here.. but I just felt like leaving some post here... Am I even contradicting myself?

Ok enough of that bullshit, let's just get on to the topic. What I am going to talk about today is about pressure in decision making. Such example is, ever been in a situation of "If you win, you will get this or that? but if you lose you get your punishment or nothing." Most people have gone this situation. What if there's one day, a situation that determine you live or die? "If you win, you get to kill me, if you lose, I get to kill you." What would happen? The pressure of you dying is the first one that came into the your mind instead of you get to kill a person.

Would you resort in killing or to be killed? If you win, you will be a murderer. If you lose, you will be dead. Which path would a person to choose? That decision is not up to you, It depend on what they are betting at. To win, is to live like a criminal and to lose, is your life. That's one of the difficult situation ain't it.

What if it happen the other way? "If you win, I get to kill you, If you lose, you get to kill me" Is there a difference in the first situation with this? Well there is, in my opinion, well as in the pressure and difficulty. In this case, people will try to lose, but they will never thought of killing that person.

The point that I'm trying to raise is... is winning or losing more difficult? I would say losing.

The next thing is some fictional scenes and words where I will wish to voice out.

I'm very tired, please give it a rest...
Vacation needed...



Last thing of this post.

I'm actually confused whose actually around me...

cheers mate... Guess this blog will be posted with what's in my mind again from time to time.. Visitor or no visitor... This place is for me to rant or speak out what's in my tiny little brain.. =)

Gone

I shall not shed a tears for you because you will always be a home of my memories where it's always in my heart, in my mind.

For now we shall depart and move on

Goodbye my friend. Goodbye...

Side Story III : Smile that is never gone..

- not a continuation of the 1st and 2nd story-


"A text have been recieved.. Please look at it now.." my cell phone rung.

I stare at my cell phone and unwillingly I took up the phone and read the message.

"Hey! We are having a reunion party tomorrow! Sorry for the short notice because it's a last minute thing! Please do come alright? - Pin"

"Should I go, or should I just..." I mumble. I look outside my window and hope it will go well if I attend.

- The re-union party-

I took a deep breath and open the door and saw many familiar faces.

"Hey! Tonny! Finally you came! Glad to have you here!" said Pin.

I smile and said, "It's been so long since we last met!" I patted on his back like usual in the past. I stay with Pin all the way because he's one of my close friend when we last met.

"Hey, look it's Vain, the girl that always hang out with us! Look at her now! She's so gorgeous!" Said Pin. I stare at her and she sure is pretty. No wonder I fall for her at the first sight.

Vain saw us and is walking towards us.

"Hey there guys! It's been ages since I see both of you!" said Vain with a smile and gave us both a hug.

"Yeah.. It's been like 3 years?" I said with a smile.

We stood there, chatting with each other for a while and I decided to leave. Because it's hurting me.

"Hey sorry guys! But I have to go now. I need to wake up early tomorrow to do some stuff. Till next time." I said and wave happily to them.

"I shouldn't have come...." I mumble and slowly walk towards my transport and drive home.

"Hey Tonny! Tomorrow! Usual place, usual time! - Pin"

I look at the message and shake my head, and reply him

"Sorry, I don't think I'm able to make it, next time yeah? - Tonny"

This goes on for more than a weeks.

Suddenly Vain call me and it just happen that I'm free.

"Tonny, why.. didn't you tell us? How could you just smile and treated it as if nothing happen?" cried Vain.

"Hey! It's not big deal! Come on now!" I said with a smile and try to cheer her up.

"It's a BIG deal! It was just the day before the party! and YOU didn't tell us!" said Vain in an anger and depress tone.

"I didn't want anyone to worry about and everyone is happy that day." I said in a smile.

"You dumbass!" Vain said and gave me a slap and then hug me. "It's not okay... It's not okay!"

Tears stared to flow on my cheeks...

"It's... ok..." I try with a smile but it was a weird one.

- Fin -

Behh HAHA.. I'm bore.. that is why I'm writing all this shit.. =x it was just another random stories.. like usual the scene and what had happen you decide.. x)

Oh lord, it's just another 2 wks and uni start... sigh.. I need holiday =.=

"Lies that ain't needed are wothless lies." - Kang

Short Side Story II : I Never Know...

Mach have open up his heart a bit to Cho. But they aren't going out even though of the past incident. They are very close to each other and Mach trusted Cho alot and decided to talk about his problems to her.

Cho become the listener and advises what Mach should do. Mach eventually gotten out most of his problems thanks to Cho.

People around the office said they are going out and would tease them. But both of them would blush and said, "It's not what you think, we are just really really good friend." to the others.

Eventhough it is not true but some awkward moments do appear now and then and causes them to drift further apart.

Suddenly one day Cho was not in the office, Mach thought she might be sick or some urgent matter, so he did not bother calling up on her.

The next day came, and Cho was not in the office again. Mach started to get worried and ask around if anyone know where she has gone. Nobody knew.

After work, Mach decided to visit Cho and see what had happen because even her mobile phone is busy. On the way to the Cho resident, He met Cho sitting day dreaming in the playground. Cho make a run for it when she saw Mach. Mach run after her.

Cho lock her door without letting Mach in and sat down in front of her door not knowing what to do, hoping Mach would go away. But Mach knock on the door really hard and shouted her name.

"Cho! What happen!? Open UP!" shouted Mach again and again.

Finally Cho open up the door with a smile, "Hello Mach! I'm so sorry! Did I frighten you? It was a joke!"

Mach was stun and was a bit angry when she said that but Mach demanded the real answer because he sense something is wrong.

"There's nothing happen, seriously!" said Cho with a smile, "Seriously..."

Mach stare at her and said nothing else.

Cho found herself crying out but she force herself with a smile. Without hesistation, Mach hug her and said softly to her, "Let it out... I'm here.. It's ok to share with me... Don't keep it all to yourself..."

Cho found herself crying and stood there without moving for hours.... Not knowing what to do...

- The End -

I never thought of continuing the first side story... but I suddenly thought of this scene so I was trying to connect them? Hope it's ok .. HAHA.. anyway . Job been tiring.. and it's killing me... I'm serious! Nothing to post and upload pic... because there's none.. haha..

Adios amigos

"There was once, but it never known." - Kang

The different aspect

Today another wordy post..

I don't know about you guys, but have you ever wonder why are you looking at stuff your way but not other? What I'm trying to say is... Can't we see stuff from other view or aspect not in a first person view but a second person view? Instead? Are we really living in this body only? Can't we just move to another? Sometime don't you feel that it's just you, YOU living in this world? I felt that sometime.. It's like nobody around and it's just you. Ecerything is just so silence any noise made, is only made by you only... Maybe I'm just mentally jobless thinking all sort of this shit up or maybe I actually most of the time alone enjoying my own entertainment instead of joining up with my friends and so on. But I kind of enjoy being alone or maybe just 1 or 2 friends only instead of a big group of friends.. it's just ain't my style.

Ba that's all ... I'm just bore.. hahaha xD

"Lives of the death are just the past, we have to move on till we are dead. Lives of the alive are present, we have to stop till we are not dead." - Kang

A Short Side Story

"Mach, where are you heading to?" asked Cho while picking her stuff.

"Somewhere..." answer Mach walking towards the door with his usual moody tone.

"Mind dropping me off at the shopping complex?" asked Cho rushing towards Mach.

Mach turn to look at Cho and nodded with a tire look. Mach then drop Cho off at the shopping complex and left her there. But it so happen that Mach wanted to get something from a near by shop. So he pulled over and went down to get his stuff. And his phone suddenly rang. A silence and a blank came to his mind, he drop his phone and slowly walking out of the shop.

Cho was wandering around in the shopping complex and after a while she saw Mach down on the street walking slowly. She decided to surprise him.

"BOO!" shouted Cho, and gave a slap on Mach back. But there's no reaction from him. Cho was stun and try to stop Mach and to see what happen but just before he reach him.

"It's a clear night tonight, but it's gonna rain soon...." said Mach with a very down and choke voice.

Cho was glad and smile when Mach responded and slowly walk towards Mach.

"Don't be silly it's not going to rai..." Cho stop before finishing her sentence, she saw Mach having tears flowing down slowly. Mach is keeping his cool and not to show any sign of his surrounding and continue to walk towards. Cho stare at Mach walking slowly away from her.

Mach was thinking all his problem in his mind. Suddenly two hand came from the back drag him backward abit and Mach felt warmt for the first time. There's something warm flowing down his back. It was tears. It was Cho tears who had rush towards him and hugged him from behind.

-End-

This sudden side story just came to me in a struck so I decided to write it down. I didn't put much background details for this story. It's for the reader to test their imagination where the scene is perfect for it. And as for the character, Mach is a guy who don't really talk much and have never talk about his stuff to anyone and where as Cho is a lady who is a simple minded person and is always cheerful.

Ah! As for now I'm working in BSB from monday to friday and on Sat I'm working as well somewhere around. I think I might end up usng all my holiday working. What should I do with my salary? I was thinking of getting a new phone or maybe a game console? New phone probably Sony Ericsson Satio or Aino which have not been released yet I think. Or maybe Nokia N97? Seems a bit bulky and pricey as well.. Or maybe an iphone? Mmmm.. Game console? Ps3 or xbox 360? Now that's a debate... Or maybe I should just save them up for a trip somewhere.. Ugh! so many thing to consider.. >_<''

That's all ~ciaoz~

Define define...

Today post is something about something I do not understand and why...

People who "Exaggerate"

(edited)To exaggerate mean to enlarge a small problem making it sound very important eventhough it's not(edited: it's in base on what I think about the people who try to exaggerate). But the thing is people who exaggerate do get into the bad books of mine especially it's something not worth being get attention of. What really pisses me off is people who exaggerate even the tiniest problem which does not even hurt or concern about him/her. For example you accidentally kick something which injured your leg well not a big injury but a bruise or something, would you go around and tell everyone about it? Well unless of course if someone ask you about it then it's ok.. but hey come on is it really a necessity to let the whole wide world know? Maybe blogging about this and you will think then why do you blog? Aren't you like trying to let the world know? Well IT'S my blog and I'm here to tell what I felt, No one ask you to visit and read about it. You come on your free will to read it...

I found myself being very stun or maybe 'how should I react situation?' position sometime nowadays. For example, my sister was driving and I was sitting behind and the car in front brake and stop but I did not tell my sister that but continue look at it 'emotionlessly'. My sister was looking around without noticing a the car in front wasn't moving anymore and when she notice she took an emergency brake which almost would end up in an accident. After that incident, I was thinking maybe at that time I was wishing if it really end up in an accident. How the next day will look like... Probably I'm not at all looking forward to the future... Some other cases like there's one time when I was having steamboat with my family and I saw the fire caught out in the gas container, I was just pointing at the fire area and said, "fire... fire.." and did not move an inch and was just looking at the fire as if it's nothing.. Probably the same thought that time, what would happen if it did explode and what will I be now...

One last thing I want to discuss, which is "1 multiplied with 2 is not necessarily 2." If you think about it, If a single lane road in a traffic jam area compare to a 2 lane traffic jam area... The calculation for the double lane would actually be triple or maybe quadriple the time taken to clear the traffic jam.

-edited-

And by the way, I have good friends who would always hide what's going on... I wonder if I should still think that way? Maybe it wasn't meant to be... Maybe I shouldn't care, or maybe they never intended to think of me as a close friend but a nuisance to have around? It kind of hurt my feelings when I have to heard stuff from other people and other people have to say, "What you didn't know? It's like way way long ago."

-edited-

That's all for today nonsense... and I'm pretty much worn out for this whole week.. cheers and -out-

"The promise which had been broken can never be broken again, It's because you will never ever get it again." - Kang